Yes I know, some of you might be saying "What?!?!", I know computers can be frustrating, sometimes they are frustrating even for myself, they can, and usually they are, boring, and there is no connection that you hold with a computer. Your laptop is not working anymore? Just replace it with a new one, no hard feelings or strings attached.

And I agree, I wouldn't want to have a relationship like that. However I wish I had certainty or particular steps about what to do in a given situation. You know, whenever you give a computer something to do, let's say for example logging on to a website, it has a set of instructions that it has to do, and which it follows, to load up the website on your browser. It always knows what it needs to do, in every situation whatsoever, since everything is hard coded in its software with the specific instructions of the steps it needs to take to accomplish a particular task.

I wish I had that element in relationships. Relationships are so uncertain and complicated, or at least that's how I find them.. Most of the time I'm in unknown grounds, at that instant that something happens, I don't know what to do, even if I had thought about it before hand. Yet, when I get some lone time for myself, my mind sees so clearly what I should have done. And little by little, the list of "should have done" is getting longer and longer and I hate it, I want to tear it up apart in shreds.

I like to think that I can change, I can change the way I act socially and what not. But it always come crumbling back on me, I always go back to the old me.