Ahh, the great days of summer. These past two weeks were simply the best ever of summer 2008. Very little time at home, a lot of time at the beach. I'm not actually a very beach-type person, I don't like the hassle of preparing, catching buses and shit to get to the beach, plus there are other factors like, you can't know if the beach is calm from home and other stuff (remember I'm a perfectionist). But hell, when I get the opportunity to join someone to enjoy a few hours (or a day) with someone, I leap at it, not jump. Because let's face it, it's summer right? And it should be about enjoying life with a couple of friends, not just bang at code all day long.

I just came home from another day at Ghadira bay, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I was literally taken aback. My face, my back, my shoulders, totally red just like a lobster and I can feel the heat radiating away from my body and melting everything in its way. And yes, I did apply sunblock, so I can't really imagine how I'd be right now if I hadn't.

A few days ago (I'm not sure when it was, because I lost the ability to track the date/which day of the week), I read a post on David's blog, Reflection of a World Citizen, which was mainly about how/why thoughts are so powerful. This post was one of those things that change the path of your life. Really, it had such an impact on me. Let's take a real life example, one of my own. I never talked about it on this blog, because really I couldn't see why it would matter, but this is such a great example to further proof why thoughts are so powerful.

I'm sure you've gone through this; where a period of your life seemed so wonderful and that nothing can't be any better, it's like an illusion for a couple of days (or weeks, or even months) and you're like the happiest guy/gal living on earth, and then suddenly, bang! It all vanishes, the problems, the cruelty of life starts running after you again. I was going through this during my finals at JC, although it didn't have anything to do at all with exams, especially since I'm a kind of person that I really can't be bothered about school failures or certificates and bullshit and "without school you're a piece of crap, you won't find a job, etc". I believe that in life you'd be a successful person not through qualifications and bullshit, but through perseverance and setting a goal where you want to be in a couple of years time. I always like to imagine myself where I'll be in the next couple of years, and although you can't just shape up your future because unexpected things will happen eventually, whether you want to or not, I try my best to work my way up to how I imagine myself in the future.

Back on my experience. After finishing off my finals, despair was settling in. I didn't have anything to settle my mind on except the problems I was having and I was going through a lone time where I'd spend most of my days somewhere alone listening to music just to fill the void. And I'm not even working this summer, I hate summer jobs actually. The way I see it is a way for the big bosses to make money off from poorly paid employers in a rufjan condition where, we (i.e. the students) are made to work our asses off while the boss is smoking his Cuban cigar counting his income. Sorry, this is just the way I see it, I hate waiter jobs, shop assistants and stuff. So, yeah, I had all the time in the world for myself to just think on stuff, that wouldn't even matter on how much I thought about, because it would just stay the way it was.

Just to show how powerful thoughts can be, I was thinking how life is all crap and what's the point of even going through all this. Thinking about this, day in, day out, I really started not to believe in myself. And all this took it's toll during day to day live.. I didn't want to meet new people, I couldn't care less to start conversations. I set up myself in a protective shell, the only thing that I believe I can do very well in life is to code, so I started spending whole days, literally waking up in the morning, start coding, stop only for lunches/dinners, and keep on coding until bedtime. That was the only thing I did for two weeks or so and although it these two weeks weren't very interesting, I started regaining confidence in myself that I'm actually good at doing something.

Eventually, I started tearing down my shell, bit by bit. I started meeting again with some of my best friends, which I aren't a lot in numbers. Through these friends, I started climbing up the ladder again to new people, groups, etc. And suddenly in a matter of weeks, life is worth living again. Not because the problems solved themselves, not because I took apart my protective shell, but because I thought about it, that it's useless to think on things you cannot change, and the only way forward is just to think about the positive, otherwise you'd be destroyed by the negative thinking.

So heads up to David, you just helped me realise what's been happening in my life.

Meanwhile, next Tuesday, I'm supposed to be rolling out the new site for this blog. Actually I've been working on it for a few weeks now and I can't wait to put it online for the world to view. Hopefully, nothing unexpected will pop up, and everything will go to plan. Really, I can't wait to put it online. All those days banging away at code comes down to this crucial point.

Another point, yesterday I saw a movie called Man on Fire, and I can't recommend it enough. It's on top of my list of the best movies, although not as best as some movies, such as The Matrix, Fight Club, Mememto, it definitely deserves to be on the list of the best movies I ever watched.

Now it's time to check a couple of emails and news feeds, just to wrap up my day and I'll be heading off to bed. Tonight it looks even more inviting than usual, after a day goofing around at Ghadira.

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Image originally posted on this blog.